The Kings and Queens of Sweden

[anti_strunt]

THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF SWEDEN







Now, what is this?

This is nothing less then my very first ever AAR! I wish to say first of all that this will not be one of those character-driven novels, which some people find the energy to create. Something like that would be far beyond my humble skills.

No, this will simply be a quick and simple story about me assuming the role of an advisor, guiding the kings and queens of Sweden during four hundred years, and then passing my experienced on to you, hopefully providing some light entertainment.

It will feature loads of screenshots, though.



What are we playing then?

EU 2, 1.07 May 11 beta patch (I don’t use any of the later patches as I don’t like the way CoT’s keep moving around) with the settings at Very Hard/Furious. The scenario is Paradox stock Grand Campaign and I’m using an old version of Mad King James’ Personalities AI mod. Finally there are some minor graphical modifications, mostly changed shields.

I think you can guess which country I’m playing as.



And the objectives?

My primary objective will naturally be to write an entertaining and amusing AAR (tough one that, though). To that end, however, I have set up a few in-game goals which I will try to complete during the game. They are as follows:

1. Unite all my core provinces
Quite obvious, every province which is a core of mine must be owned by me.

2. Own every province who's culture I have as state culture
This means that I must own all Scandinavian and Ugrian (and later Baltic) provinces. Simple enough.

3. Unite the coast of the Baltic Sea
The Baltic must be a Swedish lake, or I have failed!

4. Protect Protestantism around the globe, and spread it to the unspoiled heathens of the New World
In practice this means that I must fight for the religious freedom of, for example, the German princes, against the catholic Habsburg tyranny. Furthermore I must try to conquer and convert as many unenlightened pagan heathens as possible, before those dastardly Catholics get 'em.

5. No BB-wars!
I must remain below my badboy limit at all times, constant war is no fun outside of a WC, and this is no WC, not even a World Conquest!




First instalment comes online tomorrow.

[Judge]

Sounds interesting, I like your goals. As a native I will follow this one with great interest

[Amric]

Cool! A new Sweden AAR! Hasn't been one of those in a few months...I shall look forward to it and how you achieve your goals.

[anti_strunt]

30th of December, AD 1418

A road somewhere in Sweden

It was a dark and stormy night, and the rain poured down. Well, actually it was more like a late evening, and it was really just some cold wind. But the rain really was pouring down, keeping up a centuries-old tradition of awful Swedish weather.

A lone figure on a horse can be seen riding quickly along a muddy road leading through the dark forest. After a while the forest disappears and he reaches a small collection of fields, dominated by a small hill, on top of which is a small castle. He rides up to the gate and after speaking a few words he is allowed inside. The guard gives him some directions, and he leaves his horse to continue on foot.

He walks through a corridor lit by wall-mounted torches which flicker in the chilly draught, causing odd shadows dance on the rough stone walls. Finally he reaches a large wooden door. He knocks, and a second later a voice can be heard booming from inside.

Irritable voice: Who’s there? I don’t want to be disturbed.
Traveller: Nils sent me, Sir.
Now more friendly voice: Oh, yes the new guy. Come in, come in!

The new guy opens the door and enters the room, which is as dark and rough as the corridor. Unlike the corridor however, the middle of the room is taken up by a large desk, filled with papers and mixed office supplies. Its occupant, a large man with a huge red beard and a booming voice, is rising to his feet to greet the newcomer.

Desk occupant: Good evening, and welcome to Fågelfjut castle! I’m Olof, and you must be that advisor fellow Nils was speaking of, right?
Advisor: That would be me, Sir.
Olof: Good to hear that. What are you called, by the way?
Advisor: My name is-

The Advisor is cut of by a side door suddenly being flung open, and a breathless squire rushing in, holding some document in his hands.

Breathless squire: Sir! Sir! We have received their reply!
Olof: Aw, crap.

Olof says, and takes the letter from the breathless squire.

Olof: I’m sorry, but duty calls. Could we do this later? How about we go and take a beer once I’m finished here?”
Advisor: Why, of course Sir!





1st of January, AD 1419

Early morning in the local tavern

Suffering voice: God, my head hurts!
Tired voice: Ugh.
Angry and tired voice: Shut up, you two!
Confused voice: Agh. My head… Were am I?
Advisor: That was some celebration… do you greet all your new arrivals this warmly?
Olof: Well, no. But your arrival did coincide with our new year’s celebration…
Advisor: Oh...
Olof: Yeah…Well, I guess we should get back to work soon...

Back in Olof's Office

Olof: So, I guess I should show you the ropes then. But, you never told me what I could call you.
Advisor: Oh, my name is-

Again the new Advisor is interrupted, this time by Olof making a face, and rushing to the window to violently throw up.

Olof: Ahhh. Sorry about that… too much to drink.
Angry voice from outside: Hey! Who the hell did that!?
Olof: Um, never mind that, you must be anxious to know how we run the country around here!
Advisor: Sure! That is what I am here for.
Olof: Well, as you know Sweden is currently a part of the Union of Kalmar, and hasn’t had a king of its own since… um, some time ago. And lacking a king, it’s up to us here at the Office of Internal Affairs to run the country. Of course the Danes don’t like that, but keeping them at arms length is part of our job.
Advisor: Naturally. So, what are you currently doing?
Olof: Well, currently I’m waiting for accounting to finish their 1418 Status Report, they have been working on it all night, and then we have to start with the Long Term Objectives Management Plan, or LTOMP for short.
Advisor: And that is…?
Olof: The LTOMP is the document which defines which goals this office should pursue during the next 400 year Administrative Period, which just happens to start today.

Suddenly a breathless squire runs into the room.

Breathless Squire: Sir! Sir!
Olof: Ah, the 18SR, just leave it on the desk.
Advisor: Mind if I read it through?
Olof: Oh, no. Not at all.

1418 Status Report
Completed on the 30th of December 1418

1.1 Domestic Status
1.2 Economic Status
1.3 Territorial Status
1.4 Diplomatic Status
1.5 Military Status

1.1 Domestic Status
Sweden is currently a kingdom ruled over by king Erik of Pommern (see also: King Erik VII of Denmark). The kingdom is moderately stable (0 on the Standard Stability Scale). The upper classes are divided equally between noblemen and merchants, and they wield considerable power as the realm is very much decentralized. The kingdom as a whole is neither very innovative nor very narrowminded, and the lower classes are considerably freer then in most kingdoms of the same class (see also: Relative Measurement of Freedom in Northern Europe).

1.2 Economic Status
The kingdom of Sweden currently has a treasury of 100 Gold Pieces Standard (see also: Coinage in Scandinavia and the Baltic) and a monthly income of 6.8 GPS. Trade is largely inactive with 2 ready but currently unfinanced merchants in the entire kingdom, and an expected gain of 0.8 per year. The economical infrastructure is undeveloped (Level 0) while only the international trade is on a level of development comparable to Sweden’s neighbours (Level 1).

1.3 Territorial Status
Sweden is one of the territorially most expansive states in Europe, with no less then 11 full provinces, excluding the Territory of Lappland (see also: National Colonisation in the 15th Century). Stockholm in Svealand is both the capital and the largest city in the kingdom. Of the provinces all save Savolax is fortified to at least to Level 1 Fortification Standard (L1FS).

1.4 Diplomatic Status
Sweden is since 1397 a member of the Union of Kalmar, together with Denmark and Norway, which by the 1401 Diplomatic Definition Paper is defined as Sweden being a vassal of Denmark, in a royal marriage with the same, and in a military alliance with Denmark and Norway. The Swedish Diplomatic Corps (SDC) consists of 1 trained diplomat, and has an estimated growth of 3 per year.

1.5 Military Status
Sweden’s military power is considerable for a country of such small economical power, although the technological level (0/0 by 1417 New Standards). The Swedish Royal Army consists of 18,000 infantrymen (m/1413 Crossbow/Halberd armament) and 5,000 cavalrymen (m/1405 Improved Knight armament), deployed in three regional armies based in Svealand, Västergötland, and Nyland. The Swedish Royal Navy commands 10 battleships and 5 transports (Mk. III and Mk. VI respectively) and is docked in Svealand.

-Chief Accountant Peter Styrbjörnson

Advisor: Looks good, except for that part about us being a vassal of Denmark…
Olof: Well, that’s what the LTOMP is for. You wish to get started right away?
Advisor: Sure. Do you have a map I could look at?
Olof: Wait a sec... Here you go!



Sweden in 1419.

Long Term Objectives Management Plan for the Administrative Period 1419-1819
(LTOMP-AP14191819)

Goal #1.
Sweden must become an independent state as soon as possible. This does not mean that we should break the vassalisation to Denmark at once, but as soon as we get a good excuse…

Goal #2.
Sweden is poor. This must be countered by conquering places which are rich.

Goal #3.
Sweden must strive towards becoming a plutocratic, centralized, narrowminded, naval-oriented kingdom, with free subjects and a high quality army.

Goal #4.
Conquering provinces where we will not be seen as complete strangers is probably a good idea.

Olof: That’s that, then.
Advisor: Quite.

End of part 1.
OK, this part was slightly novel-like, but I promise that something will happen in the next part!

[Kurek]

hehe, I like this, looking foward to more.

[Amric]

Nice, but only one nit pick...the blue type is very hard to read for me. Green is okay, and the red color you have chosen I can read, but that blue is KILLING me... I have to admit that I have very poor eyesight, so perhaps everyone else can read it just fine....

[Stroph1]

Nice start. I like the tone. I agree that the blue is hard to read. My eyes must by worse then Amric's as I find the red a bit tough to read, too.

[Kurek]

weird, the blue is fine for me.

[Amric]

Stroph1- Unless you are legally blind, my eyes are worse. I am about a hair's breadth away from that designation for eyesight...oddly enough I am NOT colorblind....

[anti_strunt]

Changed the colour of Advisor's speach from Royal Blue to Sky Blue, and Olof's from Red to Orange-Red.
Hope that helps!

[John Poole]

Originally posted by anti_strunt
Goal #2.
Sweden is poor. This must be countered by conquering places which are rich.

Hmmmm...might I suggest a small Russian town that starts with an N ends in D and has OVGORO in the middle?

[Stroph1]

Stroph1- Unless you are legally blind, my eyes are worse. I am about a hair's breadth away from that designation for eyesight...oddly enough I am NOT colorblind....

Well, I am not legally blind. Without contacts/glasses, my correction is -9.5 which basically really, really sucks.

Enough hijacking this fun thread!

Go Sweden! (those new colors are better)

[Kurek]

Bah, I prefered the old colours... But if changing the colours means that more people can read this AAR then I supose its ok

[anti_strunt]

1st of February, 1419

Olof: So, it’s been a month now, how do you get along with the rest of the crew?
Advisor: I get along with everyone just fine. In fact, I just managed to get the accountant to give up the final piece of information I needed for my monthly report. Now, if you don’t mind…?
Olof: Of course not, go ahead.
Advisor: Very well… *clears throat* In the 3rd of January, the Orthodox barbarians in Suzdal declared war upon the equally Orthodox barbarians in Novgorod. In the 5th of January, however, the brave crusaders of the Teutonic Order declared their intention to convert the savages of Pskov by force, and they were supported by their entire alliance. In keeping with their general barbarian opportunism the prince of Muscowy has declared war upon Novgorod as well, they did so around the 7th. And finally - I just got this confirmed by accounting - we have succeeded in setting up a level 1 merchant presence in Mecklenburg, whatever that means.
Olof: Don’t try to understand accountant-speak, hopefully it will bring in some money. But otherwise a fine report for a first attempt, to bad there wasn’t much to tell...
Advisor: Yeah. How about a few random military manoeuvres to keep us and the troops busy?
Olof: Well… I don’t see why not…





8th of November, 1419

Olof and Advisor enter the office dressed in military gear, seemingly exhausted.

Olof: Whoa, that was fun! Let’s see what’s happened around here… Oh, look, a note from accounting! It says that the merchant in Mecklenburg got kicked out by some Hansa bullies around the 3rd of June-
Advisor: Oh, well, I think we will survive somehow…
Olof, not minding the interruption: Apparently Brandenburg has joined Poland and Lithuania in alliance, yada yada… and only a month later Lithuania began a crusade against the Tartars… Ryazan has attacked Muscowy, is there no end to Orthodox treachery, huh?
Advisor: Tell me about it. What else has taken place among us REAL Christians?
Olof: Speaking of real Christians, there appears to be some sort of religious turmoil in Bohemia. A cult called the Ussites or something like that… And, hey, it appears all our military manoeuvrings has had a positive effect on our armed forces, according to this here note, and they are now on par with the rest of Europe!
Advisor: Who could have thought that marching and sailing around could be so good for you? But now that I think about it, they did look distinctively more alive when we left them then they did before…
Olof: Oh, well. Looks like it will be another eventless year. What’s this, then? ‘Aug.27, Orleans annexed!’ Why should we care? Oh well. I’ll be in the tavern should anyone need me…
Advisor: I’ll join yo- Oh, hi there Breathless Squire!
Breathless Squire: Sir! Sir! You really need to look at this!

A few minutes later…

Olof: So, Denmark has decided to declare war upon Holstein, and thus, upon German states all along the entire Baltic coast from Jylland to Ingermanland. And now he wants our help.
Advisor: Looks like it. But, I think we have a chance here, our manoeuvres left our army and fleet in the south of Sweden, and with a quick enough strike, we could maybe, just maybe, hope to secure, say, Mecklenburg?
Olof: Now I understand why Nils recommended you! Very well, of we go! And you, squire, send a messenger to the glorious king of Denmark and Sweden and tell him that we’ll join his little war!
Squire: He’s king of Norway too, Sir.
Olof: Watch it, unless you wish to spearhead an assault on the enemy walls without a ladder.





22nd of November, 1419

Kalmar, Småland, Sweden

Swedish General: Will you look at that! That messenger must be carrying some REALLY bad news to be riding so quickly.
Swedish Admiral: Hm. He seems to be headed in our general direction.
Perplexed General: Odd that, if I didn’t know that we were at peace, I’d swear that he was carrying battle orders or something…
Breathless Squire: Sir! Sir!
General: No need to shout, lad! We hear you alright, we’re not moving anywere!
Admiral, reading the orders: Oh dear, it says here that we are to await the arrival of the army from Västergötland and then board the ships and travel to the Sund to await further orders.
Perplexed General: Odd that…





10th of March, 1420

The German Baltic coast, around Mecklenburg

Olof: We finally made it! I tell you, at first I thought those Teutonic ships were going to defeat us for sure.
Advisor: Ah, unfortunately it appears that our Danish friends have begun the party without us…
Olof: So?
Advisor: Well, according to the international laws of sieges, first come, first serve.
Olof: Damnit! What now, then?
Danish Trooper: Læg være dette? En svensker hær? Vor slot lyde du være!
General: Well, Sir, unless my reports are completely off, the Holtsteinian army is off pillaging Jylland, and Holstein is still pretty rich, and we can always go there instead, and hope that the Danes are driven off, or tires of the siege, or something.
Olof: Sure, anything to get away from these pölse-people.
Danish Trooper: Go ud med er!
Olof, annoyed: Yes, yes, we’re going!





29th of March, 1420

Holstein!

Advisor: What did I tell you? Just some scattered bands of Bremenites and Holsteinians in our way, and now we are laying siege to one of the wealthiest castles in the Baltic!
General: Well, those soldiers were pretty green, the enemy main armies are still busy assembling and/or pillaging around in Jylland, we should have nothing to worry about for the next months or so…





1st of May, 1420

Advisor is sleeping in a hammock, with Holstein castle burning in the background.

Excited Olof: Hey, look at this, a letter from accounting!
Drowsy Advisor: What does it say?
Olof: They say that they have invented the next step in tax collecting, but that they need investment money to get started… They tell us to bring some home from the war.
Advisor: *Groan*
Olof: Also, Muscowy has annexed the Ryazanite aggressors. Serves ‘em right I say.




7th of September, 1420

Jylland, Denmark.

General: But, Sir! They were really HUGE! And there were MILLIONS of them!
Olof: Yeah, sure there were.
Advisor: But we never planned to attack Holstein anyway, and at least we got them out of Jylland… By the way what happened to the other half of the army?
General: Um, in the general confusion, they sort of ran in the wrong direction, and now they are besieging Bremen…
Advisor: Oh, well…





17th of November, 1420

Still Jylland…

Olof: I have bad, and even worse news.
Advisor: Give me the worst you’ve got.
Olof: The worst news are that the Teutonic’s false crusade against the innocent souls of Pskov is completed, and that the territory, in a diplomatic coup, was awarded to Mecklenburg.
Advisor: There goes our dreams of great riches… What are the slightly less bad news then?
Olof: The Teutons are now preparing to attack Finland, so I’m sending you to care of matters...

Watch the not-very-thrilling solution to the great Scando-Teutonic war, in the next part of KaQoS! (Also, I will provide some screens then, promise.)

[calcsam2]

funny

But shouldn't it be the Kings and Queen if Sweden? after all, Kristina was/will be the only one.

[Amric]

Okay, now the grey on black is awful...sorry to keep complaining. Otherwise a fine post. Don't you hate it when your men go a direction you didn't anticipate?

Stroph- Trust me, I'm worse. -17.5 and -18.0 is my stats...they can't even correct it with glasses to 20/20. Best they can do is 20/40.

Okay, no more hijacking....

[Kurek]

The grey looks fine to me

Looking foward to seeing how the Advisor deals with the Teutons.

[Judge]

Funny updates, after the clash with the Order I hope you will liberate Sweden and kick out the Danish tyrant

[anti_strunt]

I'm glad you are all enjoying the AAR. Like I said the next update will include some screenshots. I unfortunately forgot to take some for the first 4 years...

@Amric. Gray on black... which character are you refering too? And those men ending up in Bremen... That would turn out to be something of a blessing in disguise...

@Kurek. Hehe. Will Finland survive or not?

@Judge. Like I stated in my goals, I can't just throw him out whenever I want to, that would be in bad taste. I have to actually have a good excuse first.

I have already played to the mid-17th century. Many, many odd events have taken place. Updates will appear in due time.

[Rirre]

lol Olof sounds like a fun guy to be working with..

Anyway I was really happy when I saw your AAR anti_strunt, I haven't read an AAR about sweden sinve Amrics "Imperial Eagle Rebirth-Rome Reborn Via Sweden" AAR. So just keep those updates coming cause I'll be reading